On March 28, 2008 a parachute was found buried in Southwest Washington State, which many people thought might belong to the famous hijacker, D.B. Cooper. After thorough analysis by the FBI, it was determined not to belong to Mr. Cooper. However, in a stunning revelation during a campaign stop in Pennsylvania, Hillary Clinton has claimed the parachute belonged to her.
Speaking to a hushed crowd in an abandoned steel mill in Pittsburgh, Hillary revealed she had buried the parachute after a successful night-training jump. The former First Lady explained it was part of her training with secret Special OP Army units from Fort Lewis, Washington. She explained that her husband often sent her on secret missions to highly volatile regions of the world because the Secret Service deemed it too dangerous for the president.
She reminded the audience that upon graduation from college she had attempted to enlist in the Marine Corps but had been rejected because of her poor eyesight. She then smiled and said, “But as First Lady, no one could reject me.”
Hillary stated she remembered this particular jump in the state of Washington because upon landing she was approached by a large hairy creature. Her first thought, upon seeing the hulking beast, was that it might be Rush Limbaugh dressed in a monkey-suit. However, because the smelly brute was agile and somewhat friendly, she realized it had to be the legendary Bigfoot.
Hillary then smiled and said, “But thanks to my training in survival and evasion while with a Navy SEAL unit, I was able to escape the beast’s advances.”
When contacted by numerous reporters, an FBI Spokesman said, “We can neither prove nor disprove the parachute was ever used by Hillary Clinton.”Sources at the Pentagon reported that because of the secret nature of Special Operation Units, they could not comment on the claims of the former First Lady.
No comments:
Post a Comment