GAT in the Pacific Northwest

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

New Years Eve Dec 31 2013


According to a recent study at the University of North Carolina, one out of every 200 American women claim to have become pregnant as virgins.  Researchers at the University of North Carolina were using a test called the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health.  Researchers at universities throughout the country are always administering tests of some sort and getting paid for it.  I would say this test was at least interesting and raises numerous questions.(If I remember right, the last time a woman reported having a virgin birth was over in the Middle East in a town called Bethlehem.)

The first question raised is did the women understand the connection between sexual intercourse and pregnancy.  Apparently some of the women were not even sure what constituted vaginal intercourse. ( In my estimation this would indicate a serious problem.)  Of course it’s possible many of these women came of age during the Bill Clinton Era when Bill managed to create mass-confusion over what constituted “having sex.”

The second question concerns dates.  Maybe the women simply got their dates mixed up.  It’s possible.  Judy is always complaining about how I always forget important dates.  Maybe some of these women are very poor at keeping track of dates and thought they started having sex after giving birth.  Nothing surprises me about human behavior anymore.

The third issue regards a solemn pledge.  Some of the women claiming a “virgin pregnancy” had also signed a chastity pledge.  Granted, when you sign a pledge you should take it seriously. But it’s possible some of these women signed the pledge, and then, when their guard was down, gave in to their boyfriend’s animal-cravings.  Naturally you don’t want to admit you broke the sacred pledge, so you tell a little white lie and claim you had a virgin birth.

Of course there is always the possibility that one of these women had a genuine “virgin birth” just like happened in Bethlehem.  I strongly doubt it though.   I’m even skeptical of the “virgin birth” in Bethlehem which indicates how much of a skeptic I am.  A  coworker with the telephone company once told me I was an irreverent, skeptical heathen.  Didn’t sound good at the time.

Besides virgin births, I also ran across another enlightening subject concerning women. 

A few days ago (still 2013) I tuned into the Dr.Oz tv show and learned that the average woman will pass wind 98 times in a week.  Like virgin births this is valuable to know.  For instance, if I’m in the grocery store, checking the price of fresh salmon I will know not to stand downwind of the lady looking at the fresh clams next to the salmon.

Dr. Oz did not explain how many women were tested, what they ate, or what instruments were used.  Naturally my first thought was that some type of “fart-meter” was attached to various women who volunteered.  (What kind of woman would volunteer to have her farts measured is a scary thought.)

Judy says I watch too much of Dr. Oz.  She also claims that women don’t fart, but, rather, pass “delicate woman winds.”  She claims that men, myself included, pass “big hairy man farts.”  That is an example of gender bias of the most severe type.

Here’s wishing everyone a very happy holidays and a joyous New Years.

Irreverent and always skeptical