Judy says I am feeding the squirrels too much. (They are Western Gray Squirrels) She says I am creating giant mutant-squirrels that will attack both our cats and our dog. At first I didn’t believe her and then one got stuck trying to crawl under our wire fence in the back yard.
I was just coming out of the garage and saw the squirrel, a very fat dude, clawing away trying to get under the wire. At that moment Judy let Corki out on to the back porch and the squirrel really started digging.
Corki flew off the porch, grabbed the bushy gray tail and started pulling. A frantic chattering erupted and then Corki had pulled the squirrel free. The squirrel then spun around and tried to grab Corki’s nose. Corki loves to chase and herd things but doesn’t have a real killer instinct. She seemed puzzled by the squirrel’s actions and let go of the tail.
This time the squirrel climbed the wire fence and was gone into the woods.
Christmas is few days away and as I sit here writing this letter I keep thinking about smoking a cigarette. It’s a stressful time. You have to think about presents and cards for relatives and friends. Then you have to pretend you’re happy and full of cheer. Then to top it all off, Judy starts having back problems again. A Neurosurgeon did her back surgery in April. At the advice of our primary-care Doctor she has an appointment to see the “butcher” in January to re evaluate her latest MRI.
To keep me from returning to smoking, Judy suggested that I start taking the drug Chantix again. About five months ago I took it and it was very effective in eliminating my desire to smoke. The drug stimulates the receptors in the brain that are normally stimulated by nicotine in a smoker.
Of course there’s all kinds of side effects. Like suicidal thoughts, depression, nausea and strange, vivid dreams. The only side effect I experienced was the dreams.
In one dream I was back in my telephone-van which I had somehow managed to drive inside of a Hooters Restaurant. As I drove the van, I kept bumping into tables which was upsetting the customers. (I’m sure a psychiatrist would have a ball studying this dream.) Oddly, the waitresses didn’t seem upset and kept coming up to the van and asking if I wanted to order. All I could remember was lots of cleavage and customers cussing at me. Then it just ended.
I took the Chantix for about three weeks and really started looking forward to the dreams. It was like a new adventure every night. While I am taking Chantix this Christmas, Judy may or may not be taking Percocet. The Percocet is for the back-pain and makes her very talkative and very happy which is good for the holiday spirit. Myself, I am looking forward to my dreams. (note from Judy: I am NOT going to give in and take the Percocet!!).
Maybe I will dream that I am a Billionaire whose taxes will not go up. And being a good billionaire, I will invest money in building up the country with manufacturing plants and infrastructure projects. I would create jobs for millions. And all those Chinese would truly love me for providing them with even more jobs. Being a smart billionaire I would know where the low wages are and where I could make a good return on my investment and I'd thank those Republicans on the Hill who made it possible.
On the other hand, maybe I’ll dream that Judy and I are homeless and standing on a street corner in Bellingham. We'll have a cardboard sign saying, “God Bless.” Corki will be sitting next to us with the remnants of a squirrel tail dangling from her mouth.
